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Conversations with an Em-Dee - The stuff of Shado...
Confessions of a Scottish Attack Squirrel
meamgrimlock
Conversations with an Em-Dee
MD: So, I see you're in for an ER Follow-up.

Me: That's correct, ma'am.

MD: Gallstone?

Me: With Biliary Colic! Which I've learned is a fancy way of saying 'I have a Gallstone, and it hurts.'

MD: *laughs* So did the ER refer you to a surgeon?

Me: They gave me a referral. They didn't really say if it was for a surgeon, or for a 'in case you don't have a regular doctor, here's a referral to a general physician to cover the needs of your insurance.'

MD: What's his name?

Me: Edward Hyde.

MD: He's a good doctor.

Me: Great. So is he a surgeon?

MD: Yeah. A very good one. I'm making a referral for you right now. His office should call you in a couple of days.

Me: Can we talk about this? I mean, It's only my gallbladder, but I'm kind of attached to it, you know?

MD: Did they check your Liver Enzymes?

Me: That's Bloodwork, right?

MD: Yup.

Me: For the number of times they had to stick me to get the I.V. in place, if they didn't do that test, they should be shot.

MD: Do you know what the results were?

Me: Here's what they gave me. *Hands her the stack of Blue discharge papers from the E.R.*

MD: Oh, you went to a Baylor ER. Hell, I can just pull that up. *taps at keyboard* Oooh.

Me: Oooh is not a good sound. High?

MD: 530. That's almost five-times normal.

Me: So what's that mean?

MD: It means we can't talk about it. Go see the surgeon.

Me: I hate you.

MD: I know. But there's good news.

Me: What's that?

MD: You've lost five pounds since you were last here.

Me: Yeah, well, I still don't like your scale. It says I weigh 10 pounds more than the scale at the gym. I think you should get your scale checked!

MD: I think your gym should get it's scale checked.

Me: I hate you.

MD: So how's your shoulder?

Me: *mumble*mumble*s'okay*mumble*mumble*

MD: Still bothering you, then?

Me: Not really. I mean, not like it was. It's intermittent. I'll go three or four days with nothing, then one day of annoyance.

MD: Gonna send you to see Dr. Frankenstein, too. He's an orthopedic surgeon.

Me: Can we talk about this?

MD: No. It doesn't mean surgery. He's just better equipped to actually diagnose and treat the problem.

Me: I hate you.

MD: My job here is done.

Me: So you coming out to Faire this year?

MD: We're going to try. Actually, his class is going to Medieval times on Friday.

Me: That should be fun.

MD: Yeah. I was supposed to go, but they changed it from Wednesday to Friday. I'm on call Friday, so can't make it.

Me: Sorry.

MD: Oh, and thank you for just going to the emergency room and not waking me up.

Me: I was in pain at 2 a.m. You're not really open then. And I don't have your home phone number. Probably a smart decision on your part, since I hate you right now.

MD: I was the on-call, though. So I'd've taken the call. Then I'd've just told you to go to the emergency room, anyway. And then I'd've had to kill you.

Me: You can't kill me. Lys and I are putting your son through college.

MD: Damn. I hate when you're right.

Me: TeeHee.

MD: Here. Go to the lab and get bloodwork. I want them to check your liver enzymes and make sure they're going down, instead of up.

Me: I hate you until you are dead.

MD: TeeHee.
9 people have embraced the darkness or Douse the Light
Comments
dleighb From: dleighb Date: April 22nd, 2009 01:02 am (UTC) (Link)
Gotta love doctors! I just got back from my bloodwork too. That's four vials so far this year. Hooray!
beylit From: beylit Date: April 22nd, 2009 01:09 am (UTC) (Link)
You are such a funny little man
elisabeth From: elisabeth Date: April 22nd, 2009 01:10 am (UTC) (Link)
When you're done hating your doc, you can come hate mine for me. I'm too tired to care anymore. :p
kathyc514 From: kathyc514 Date: April 22nd, 2009 02:39 am (UTC) (Link)
They took my gallbladder. I haven't missed it one bit. You'll be fine.
arbiter_of_cool From: arbiter_of_cool Date: April 22nd, 2009 03:40 am (UTC) (Link)
Next time you are over at my house remind me to show you my gall stone. I still have it. By the time they took mine out it was the size of the bladder, so I would recommend getting it yanked earlier.

Just don't let them sell you on the cheap clothes hanger option. Mine was rusty...
srgmatt From: srgmatt Date: April 22nd, 2009 04:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Yup, gall bladder surgery is all laproscopic and relatively easy nowadays. My wife was up and playing D&D the day after hers.

Of course, she's tough and you're a weenie, so it might take you a day or 2 longer to recover. Just sayin'.

Sorry you're hurting though. Sucks big time. Manly hugs and stuff.
turtliewings From: turtliewings Date: April 22nd, 2009 04:49 am (UTC) (Link)
...is this REALLY how conversations with your doctor go? If so... do they take UHC?
(Deleted comment)
From: meamgrimlock Date: April 22nd, 2009 11:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
9 people have embraced the darkness or Douse the Light